Don’t wanna go to work. I’m a glorified letter opener. That sounds kinda cool, but it isn’t. I don’t know. I just don’t wanna today. But I have to leave in five minutes so it’s too late to call in. Boo.
Today has been horrifically awful. Lost my voice at work and was just generally sick. Then I came home and had to move furniture so they could install stupid looking windows, and that was only very loud and took all day so I’ve gotten no sleep at all. And then when I finally took something to quell the fountain of snot my head is producing, the medication hurts so stomach so much I threw up. So I called my job and told them I can’t work tonight. The lady was disappointed in me, and said they may not be able to schedule me again until who knows when. And my bipolar is doing something weird and my car is acting funny, and despite being awake over 24 hours and taking sleeping pills I CANNOT SLEEP. I want to sleep so much, whyyyyyyyyyy.
The next two days are going to suck so much. We’re having new windows installed and the people doing it are going to be here like ten minutes after I get off work. UUuuuuuugh. And they’re going to be in my room because my room has a window. Strangers in my room. Uuuuuggghhh. And everyone is going to see that an almost 22 year old person has a room decorated like a rainbow threw up and I decorate with glowsticks and the walls are a horrible, horrible shade of pink and PEOPLE WILL BE IN MY ROOM NO GET OUT.
Also, the whole, no sleep work thing. And the dog will go nuts all day long. But mostly everyone ever should stay out of my room.
One of the great things about working third shift is having pizza delivered for your breakfast.
Made eggplant lasagna for the first time. And now I know to cook the eggplant some before putting it all together. Slimy, slimy eggplant. Tasted alright though.
Getting ready for my third day of work. Wish stupid anxiety would go away. Partly my own fault. Spent so many years trying to become invisible that I apparently succeeded. No one can hear me. Part of the job is yelling out when you have certain issues. No matter how loud I try to yell, I get in trouble because they didn’t hear me. Which causes more anxiety. Which makes me quieter. It’s a lovely little circle of awful. By the end of the night I stop talking altogether. Yay, work is so much fun.
Finally got called to start my new job tonight. Watching Frozen in my pajamas in hopes my crippling anxiety will take the night off. No luck so far.